Long Island pronounced "LAAAWWNGUYLAND"

I am sick of the Long Island stereotypes.  See link: Urban Dictionary Long Island Girl

Yes, I am from Long Island, but that definition provided for a Long Island girl is absolutely ridiculous, and I intend to prove that it is false! :)

A friend was telling me the other day that he generally doesn't like people from Long Island or North Jersey.  So I must ask, why does Long Island have such a stereotype?  And, why do I know so many people from Long Island who are like me and NOT the stereotypical "LongIslander" that haters describe us as.

Here's why I don't fit your idiotic description of a Long Islander:

1. I am not rich.  People have misconceptions that everyone from Long Island is ridiculously wealthy.  Um no.  I drive a Honda Civic.  My house growing up was a small cape with three bedrooms and one bathroom.  My parents do NOT give me money every time I ask for it.  And, I have been working since high school. And, I have a gigantic amount of student loans so it should be noted that mommy and daddy are not paying the full amount of my college tuition.



2.  I am not a guidette.  I get that J WOW is from L.I. and there are some guidos and guidettes on the island but there are chill people too (like me).  We go to chill bars with a relaxed scene and an abundance of good beers.  So, no, not every bar is a full on club and not every 21 year old likes to fist pump and/or have nasty randos grindin all up on them.

3. I am not a BITCH. (well not all the time.)  Freshman year I was at a party and started talking to this guy.  He asked me where I was from and I said Long Island. :)  His response was "You must be a bitch".  And, he turned and walked away.


So what is with the stereotypes?  Many cool people have grown up on this fabulous island..aka:

And if you don't know who that is I hate you. :) Just kidding.. but you really should because he is AMAZING!


That's all for now.
xo,
TWTCC

Why the weather man sucks..

I have such issues with the weather man and weather.com.  I really think everyone who is a meteorologist for that site posts information with the intentions of screwing with me.  It started my freshman year of college.  Since I lived in a dorm building that was from like the early 1900's (really it was 1969 ..I only remember that because its 69 and I am immature) the windows were small and the room was cluttered so it  was hard to look outside and see what the weather was like.  And, it was also to my disadvantage that our window faced the infamous train so I could not even look outside and see what other folks were wearing (which I do now).  So, due to the fact that I could not look outside to gauge the temperature I would resort to weather.com.

One day I checked the weather for Newark, DE. "46 degrees. Chance of precipitation=100%."  So here I go.. I got my jeans on.. my Delaware sweatshirt and my skull rainboots (yes, they're cool) .  I meet my friend Leila by her room so that we can walk to class together and I see that she is wearing a sundress. I laughed in my head.  "She is going to be sorry she did that.  She should've checked weather.com"  Boy, was I wrong.  We stepped outside.  No rain. Not even any clouds.  She had checked accuweather.com which told her it was 69 degrees and sunny.  God damn it.  So that day I was "that asshole" who rocked skull rainboots even though it was sunny.. hate people like that.

It happened again yesterday morning.  Weather.com indicated to me that it was sunny and in the 70's.  Perfect!  I had been waiting to break out my sundresses.  So, I got all dolled up (not really) in my short pink flowey sundress which was perfect for this "first taste of summer weather" occasion.  I left my house at 9am and began to walk to class.  Wait!  What is that?? A dark, massive cloud in the distance that is saying "HAHA yes Kelcie we are fucking with you".   Just at that moment, while I was cursing the cloud under my breath,  Mother Nature chose to fuck with me some more and sent a huge gust of wind my way proving that my decision to wear a short flowey pink dress was a bad choice.  And, of course it could not be at an off hour.  No it was 9am on a Tuesday and the road I live on is quite busy with traffic always so at 9am it is really bumping.  Pretty sure I flashed a mom and her child in a minivan.  yahtzee!

So my question to you weather.com is why are you SCREWING with me?? Tell me the truth please.  I don't like this little game you're playing anymore.  And, until you redeem yourself  I am going to use accuweather.com.  So there!  That's the way the cookie crumbles.

To cry or not to cry..

Crying.  It is just so interesting.  Yes, of course, the actual act of crying is mind boggling to me. Where does it come from?  What is it?  Why does it taste salty?  I really hope my roommate Jocelyn will have some scientific answers to these questions for me later.  But that is not the point.  My real question, however, is WHY do we cry?

If you're like me you cry at the drop of a hat.  I don't care what it is. Sad, Happy, Confused, Scared, Excited.. I am going to cry.  Whatever it involves.. family, friends, men, school, work.. anything can make me cry.

I cry during movies.  Love Actually, Fox and the Hound (it's a Disney Movie), and even Sex and the City. What can I say? I am a sucker for a good cry, and I guess I am a bit of a romantic because everything that has to do with love makes me cry.  "Say Yes to the Dress", a show where women shop for their wedding dresses, makes me cry.  Commercials.  Oh my god, they make me cry.  That one phone commercial where the father takes a picture of the monkey in front of the various locations he travels to (Eiffel Tower..etc) makes me cry.  Soo cute. I am pretty sure I once cried during a Venus razor commercial with Jennifer Lopez.  She was running along the beach with her kids and I just thought damn to have that kind of happiness and smooth legs.. so I cried.

Sometimes I cry when I get too stressed out.. which is reasonable I think.. if it has to do with school/work or something of that nature.  But sometimes I get stressed because I have to clean my room, do laundry, and go to the food store all in the same day. Wah! Yup, that deserves a cry.


Secondly, location of a cry is important.  Yes I cry in my room, in the shower, in public.. but my favorite place to cry is WITHOUT A DOUBT my car.  There's something about it.  I am upset about something and I can get in my car and pretend that I am driving away from all my problems even if I am just driving around the block.  Love crying in the car.  But the worst thing is when you're not prepared for it.  One time I was driving home from school on the Jersey Turnpike and boom! "Time of Your Life" by Green Day comes on.  Uh oh here come the water works.  I don't know why. But.. I was not prepared. No tissues no napkins.. which was the worst.. because by the time I got home 2 hours later my shirt was doused in tears and snot. Ha lovely.

What is odd about the whole crying thing is that I can not control it.  I cry at the most ridiculous things, yet find myself unable to cry at events that are actually worth crying over.  My parents divorce.  Didn't shed one freakin' tear.  And I was devastated, but I just couldn't cry.  This past year my grandmother's sister passed away and I saw how sad my grandmother was and I felt that pain, but I just could not cry.

So what is it about crying?  Why am I programmed to cry at ridiculous things like the Sex and the City movie or the Venus razor commercial, yet can't seem to cry when actual sad things occur?  Is that just the way the cookie crumbles?

Man's Best Friend..

I have recently thought about becoming more girly.  I don't know if its physically possibly after 21 years of life but I am pretty sure it is worth a shot.  I was reading my friend Leila's blog the other day and it was about how she thinks she is TOO girly, and I have to say for every point she made I felt the complete opposite.. so I started to worry a little.  Maybe it's the fact that I grew up around guys.  I have a younger brother and when I was young I spent countless days with him and my two male cousins.  So, maybe that's what "screwed" me up.  Or maybe it was my mother who is certainly not the most "girly" individual herself, although it seems that she is also making an attempt to be more girly recently.

I tend to refer to a lot of my guy friends as bros and dudes... and even some of my girl friends.  And, I have definitely referred to my ex boyfriend as "bro" and "dude" before.  I think he got used to it after a while though and wasn't really offended.  I guess there is a time and place for everything.  Probably fine as long as its outside the "sexual arena". ha.

My male friend once told me and I will quote him, "Kelcie, You might as well have a penis."  Enough said.

I find I encourage my male friends and sometimes my brother to "fuck" girls.  (Yeah don't worry.  It's not as weird as it sounds.  We might as well be brothers.  I think he looks at me like a brother.  And if you're a male and would tell your little brother to fuck girls then I am allowed to do it too.)  Probably not the most sisterly advice to give, but then again like I just said I don't really act like a "sister" in that regard.. more like a "brother".  Shouldn't I be saying, "Well, why don't you ask a lovely girl from your class who you are interested in getting to know on a date?  Get to know her.  Get to know what she likes, where she's from, what her goals for the future are." HA I would never say that in a million years.  Instead I'm like "yeah go get drunk, get laid, do your thing". Weird and certainly not the most "girly" advice.

A male friend recently texted me to tell me (and I will quote him) "I'm not a father :)"
I feel like a normal woman's response would be, "Well that's great news.  You weren't financially or emotionally ready for the responsibilities that go along with having a child.  How is the girl handling things?  Was she worried/freaking out? Is she okay?".   My response was "YAHHHHTTTZZZZEEEEE!".  (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jfoVINW1HMk)
As if I have no regards for females at all, when I am in fact a female.  So what is wrong with me?

I have also discovered over my 21 years that I would much rather consume some good beer and wings than go anywhere "romantic" and have an actual dinner.  Although I thoroughly enjoyed my first date with my ex which was more "romantic", I found that what I enjoyed even more were when we would go out and just drink beer and get burgers.  Yeah, I guess I am a cheap date.

Also, I don't know anything about wine.  I mean I know that it can get me drunk and that I like.. YAHTZEE! But other than that I find myself offended when a host/hostess at a gathering offers all the men a beer and then says "Kelcie, Would you like a glass of wine?".  "Sure, fantastic. Thank you." is always my response, when in reality I am thinking "WHAT THE F$%&, GET ME A MOTHERF$#%IN BEER FOR GOD SAKES!!!!"  WAHHHHHH :(

Another thing.  Recently my friends and I went to Cheeburger Cheeburger.  And our waiter comes over.. seems like a nice guy.  He describes all the burgers then gives an in-depth description of the salads.  HELLLOOOOO I AM AT FUCKING CHEEBURGER.. it has BURGER in the title.  Does it look like I want a fucking salad? Um HELLOOO? "I will take this quarter pound burger with sauteed onions cheese cheese cheese bacon tomatoes lettuce.. No that is not all, don't move on to the next person!.. and I would like one of those big baskets of onion rings, yeah one of those. And, maybe hmm what kind of milkshakes do you have? Oh over 7,000 combinations of milkshakes!? Damn well I will certainly be getting one of those." I am sorry I know it was probably just his job to introduce the entire menu, but I saw a bunch of tall, football looking guys at a table across the restaurant.  Do you think the waiter really told them all about the different combinations of salads you could get?  Absolutely not! So, why me?

Another reason why I consider myself to be a "guy" is that I enjoy watching movies and television that involve a lot of blood, violence, cursing, and/or sex.  Okay I admit I occasionally watch Gossip Girl.  (It's my guilty pleasure..but shhh! don't tell anyone.)  My favorite shows are Criminal Minds, CSI, and Law and Order.  Blood.Blood.Blood.  If someone tells me I can pick a movie it is always going to be an action movie or a movie with a lot of sex.  I am sorry, I'm honest.  (And anything with Matt Damon that involves action/sex is even better.. okay I guess that makes me kind of girly.. but not the fact that I have watched the Bourne series probably like 20 times over... Gets me every time. Ah Jason Bourne.)

So my point is that I am a man's man.. or a man's girl.. or a girl that is like a man.. something of that nature.  I don't know that I will ever be girly, but I am recently discovering that I don't have to be.  This is the way I am and you know what I am okay with that.

That's the way the cookie crumbles my friends.

My freshman year of college

My freshman year of college I was awkward.. Wait, Who am I kidding? I am still awkward.

Freshman year I met one of my very good friends Leila who I am still super close with today.  Her and I had a brilliant idea a couple of weeks into school.  We thought these two men on our freshman floor were really nice and figured we would ask them out on a date.  Hey, it would be a great way to get to know them, we thought. So we wrote a letter(yes a letter like in the old days) to Clim and Jay.  We told them how we would love to go out on a date with them! We also taped hershey kisses on their door in the shape of a "C" and a "J".  We slipped the note under the door.. so excited for our date.  We even planned out that it would be that Friday and we would go to Cafe Gelato because that was the nicest restaurant we knew that was in walking distance.

When they hadn't responded to our lovely handwritten note we figured they were probably just shy.  So I knocked on Clim and Jay's door and Clim opened it to see me standing their smile and wavinggg my arms around and he shoved the door in my face.  Hence.. the rejection....

That above is the rejection.. it sucked and hurt!

I have never quite gotten over that....So if you want to go out on a date now im A-V-A-I-L-A-B-L-E. ha.

Moving on to my second awkward experience freshman year.. My eyeball swelling up like a golf ball... yikes!! One morning I woke up and literally my eye was bright red and the size of a golfball like so..

Legitimately that is what it looked like.  My friend Leila came in to my room to make sure I was okay and couldn't even look at me. It was sad. And, even worse, the weekend after I had to go out with my glasses because I still couldn't wear my contacts.. Nerd? I think so.



And that's the way the cookie crumbles...

My top picks for men I would like to spend an evening with...because I know you care :)

In an attempt to increase the amount of traffic in my blog I have decided to do a piece on the top 5-10 men (celebrities) I would like to ahem spend an evening with...keeping it g rated (in case the pops happens to see this.)

1. Mike Posner- Because I would thoroughly enjoy it if someone threw on 'bow chicka wow wow' to get me in the mood and hey if he could sing it to me.. even better.  Then in the morning he could sing "baby please don't go" ahhh how dreamy <3  And he's smart. Went to Duke <3

2. Hugh Hefner. Because WHY NOT?? He's slept with probably half the female population and when I say population I mean the entire world's population.. not just the United States... so he must be doin something right :)  Look at that picture. Even though I am jealous that he's with another girl. But hes like yeah thats right I am hott I know it...Confidence.. Sexy.

3. Matt Damon.  Need I say more? Okay I will. He's sexy as hell and seems like he is just a nice man.  JASON BOURNE.. OMG cutest picture ever....

4. 50 cent.  Ever since I first saw him in the "In Da Club" video I have been in love.  Something about him doing those crunches while hanging upside down.  And, I did see his movie.  Wasn't a huge fan but it was bearable since he was obviously the main character.  Take a look at that picture.... Come on.. Sexy...

5. Biebs. Is he still a virgin? Wait? Is he even legal?  Maybe I should take that one back...

hmmmmm yupp pretty sure hes like 14.. um anywayyy nevermind.. maybe in a few... aka 10 years.

6. Travis Barker. Tattoos. Tattoos. Tattoos. Enough Said. Just take a look below.... DAMMMNNN.

7. Mark Teixeira.. And hopefully I am spelling my future husbands last name correctly. But he is just soooo cute :)

8. Chelsea Handler. Okay I know she is not a guy but I want her life. And although I would not like to spend an evening with her in that way I would like to chill with her so she's on my list :)

And that's the way the cookie crumbles.. 

Dear Writers/Publishers/Editors of the Magazine Cosmopolitan

Dear Writers/Publishers/Editors and Anyone else involved in the creation of the magazine, Cosmopolitan,

1.  I'd like to start by saying I love you, and that I am a loyal reader.
2. Your magazine never ceases to amuse me.
3. Where do you come up with half this crap???

Like I said I am always the first to purchase and read the monthly magazine, but I am starting to find that it is getting rather monotonous.  Each magazine involves:

 1. A certain number (5, 51, 79, 87.. the number is irrelevant) new ways to seduce your man.
  Okay, I'll give it to you.  Some of your ways of seducing a man are actually legitimate, but others are just plain fucked up.  I have to say that April's section was interesting because it not only involved ways to seduce a man, but it told you how to seduce your man in less than a minute...damn.

This is a great one. "Wake him up in the morning by sucking on his finger as if its his penis"  I am sorry. Would this actually turn a guy on?  I am pretty sure that if a guy woke up to me sucking on his finger he'd be like what the F$#% get out of my bed and my life.

Oh wait.. even better.."Stare longingly at his package for a few seconds".  Hello man I think you're attractive.  Don't mind me I am just going to stare at your junk for a short duration of time.  No, its not weird. Cosmo told me to do it!! Aren't you totally seduced and not creeped out at all right now??

2. The Health Corner which involves two of the most self explanatory things ever: Eating Healthy and Exercise.

"Cosmo's 5 great ways to get the swimsuit body you've always wanted"
1. Stop drinking alcohol. Choose water over beer.  You won't make that mistake of drunk texting your ex and your body will feel great and thank you.
2. Cut the carbs. Cut them all out. Just veggies girlfriend.  Swap that bagel you eat every day for a handful of grapes.  Your body will feel refreshed and energized.  Wow I was really craving a bagel but yeahh definitely 5 grapes will do the trick.
3. Take the stairs rather than the elevator. Um yeah walking up 10 stairs instead of walking down the hall to the elevator is not really going to make a difference.  Sure maybe if your office is on the 31st floor it would make a difference but really give me a break.
4. Have lots of sex. Sex is the best way to work out and this is all our magazine refers to.  If you have trouble finding a mate don't worry turn to page 54 and we'll tell you how to seduce a man
5. EXERCISE. Run 15 miles a day and do 1000 crunches and you'll have the body you always wanted.

Gee thanks Cosmo.  You really cleared that one up for me.

Also, the health corner always has a section on your vagina and how everything operates down there and most of the time will include depictions

3.  Hot girl on the cover.  Ok I am pretty sure that the majority of your readers are women.  Please just have a hott man on the cover for once. please.  I get it ok. Olivia Wilde is gorgeous but put her on the cover of MAXIM.. cant we get David Beckham with his shirt off please?  If I am reading this magazine and am actually reading your 59 ways of seducing a man I am obviously feelin a little lonely.

4. However I have to say one of my favorite things about cosmo is the section on sex that includes a tear out page that you can give to your man so that he knows how to please you in bed.  Do it. I'm sure he won't be offended at all by the fact that you're giving him a ripped out page of a magazine because he has no idea how to get you off. Ha.


Thats all for now (and thats the way the cookie crumbles)
Kelcie

Please, Just Tell Me I Suck! :)

I am not a big fan of half assing anything.  If I want to do something I am going to do it.  If I want you I am going to get you.  Not in a creepy way as it sounds, just in a proactive way.  (And, that's the way the cookie crumbles.  HA.)  I am a go getter in life and in my relationships and those who know me can certainly attest to that.. in fact, I sometimes go overboard and I'll be the first too admit it.  (You should read my second blog (how to pick up the man of your dreams) to see just what I mean.)

I recently pursued this one guy.  Did he turn me down?  No.  But he was kind of HALF ASSIN' the situation until finally he stopped talking to me.  See below for depiction:

Why can't people be honest if they're not into something?  Why should you men waste your own time trying to figure out how you are going to ditch this CrAzY BiTcH?  Here's a thought:  Just tell us you're NOT interested!  WE DO NOT CARE.  If someone told me they were not interested in me I think I would give him a HUG because quite frankly why should anyone waste their time???

HAHAHA a big bear hug for you... for telling me i suck!! But, seriously I would take that.

I think that everyone should always be honest with their feelings no matter how awkward or uncomfortable it is :)

I have come to observe that many people in college treat meeting and hanging out with members of the opposite sex as a game. Like Yahtzee or Life.. which is my favorite game on earth, except when I land on "yay! babygirl!"... FUCK THAT.

From what I understand if you are interested in someone you are to pretend you are not interested so that they become interested and then maybe if you still pretend you are not interested you can both be interested in each other?  What?  Wait,  I confused myself.

This is just my take on things.. and I could certainly be wrong but this is just what I have observed in the past.


I just think it is funny and that is why I chose to blog about it.  Not to speak for all women but I think women in general would prefer a straight up:

HAHAHAH Yes or No! so that no one wastes their time.... I like the warning sign above.  I feel like its kind of appropriate for me and the way I pursue things.

My point is shit should be simple.  And then you'll be HAPPY :)

Say what you're thinking and you'll be happy with the way the cookie crumbles ...

Ode to Pita Pit, the love of my life.

My new obsession is Pita Pit.  Why?  I don't know.  And, for those of you who do not know it is a chain that serves delicious pitas with any kinds of goodies  you want.  My friends and I recently discovered that they are open late night after the bar, and ever since then I have found myself unable to resist the temptation of a good ol' chicken caesar pita and a philly cheesesteak pita.. because no, you can't just eat one pita.

Usually I do not get too upset with myself for going to Pita Pit after the bar, because usually it is something that my friends and I do together.  (Everything is better when you do it with friends :) ) However the other night I found myself in an awful place.... alone at Pita Pit with two pitas in front of me.  Pretty sure me, and my buddy, Russ (the guy who works there), were the only people there at that hour and, yes now I do know him by first name.  I can only imagine being in Russ' shoes standing behind the counter watching me devour not one but two pitas by myself at a table that is meant to seat four.  Where are my friends?  Oh yeah, that's right!  They are at the bar because it is only 12:13.. and normal people do not ditch their friends at 12:13 to go to Pita Pit by themselves.

So now I have a new goal in mind for next weekend.  KELCIE YOU WILL NOT DITCH YOUR FRIENDS FOR FOOD! I think I am probably going to have to write it on my hand on Thursday just so I do not forget that it is just simply not acceptable.

My friend Leila had friends visiting this weekend and her poor friends probably think I am insane because instead of socializing at the bar like a normal person I was propped up against the wall, hair in my face dreaming about the various kinds of fillings I could get in my pita...
Pita Pit, why do are you so promiscuous and tempting??.. all those delicious fillings, and Russ, my boy, who is always there ready to serve..providing me with excellent food and also cigarettes for my lonely walk home. You really need to stop because I just can't say no.

So now I am thinking that maybe I shouldn't bring my credit card out anymore because then I will have no way to purchase Pita Pit at the end of the night.. but knowing me and my ridiculousness I would probably just end up begging and/or threatening someone so that they buy me a chicken caesar pita...oh pita pit.

E.W.I. - Eating While Intoxicated

Eating While Intoxicated or Eating Under the Influence.. Now there's a felony you have never heard of before.  But the fact of the matter is that it should be considered a felony for what it has done to my body and my wallet.  I wish I got arrested for Eating While Intoxicated because maybe then I would have learned my lesson and stopped cold turkey.  But unfortunately, the same thing happens every time my girl friends and I go out..

Before we start to drink at the house we discuss how we are NOT going to get food after the bar later on that night.  We are absolutely 100% positive that we will not eat.  We start giving each other high fives and shaking hands, and even taking a few shots to the fact that WE WILL NOT EAT..

So we go to the bar.. and we're dancin doing our thang... pickin up men with the moves referred to in my 2nd blog (how to pick up the man of your dreams).. until wait..what is this?? is my stomach growling?  oh no, i look around.. I wonder if anyone else is thinking the same thing I am thinking which is.. "NEED FOOD NOWWWW!!"  Instead of blurting out that I want to go to DP Dough and eat 5 calzones then go to Sliders I try to ease the fact that I am hungry, and maybe contemplating getting food, into the conversation..

"Wow guys my stomach is growling.. so weird considering I just ate an hour ago.. "
Hmm.. no real reaction.. okay so I figure I will wait and mention it like an hour later ..Maybe then they'll be down....

5 minutes later.. "So, who is feeling sliders later?  Anyone, anyone?"

*Looks of disgust*

Ok well that was a fail.. so I just give it some time and by giving it some time I mean casually slipping sliders into the conversation every 5 minutes.. "OMG guys I love this song.. It really reminds me of the philly cheesteak slider at SLIDERS"..."That is guy is so hott over there.. He looks like he would like a Buffalo Chicken Slider"...

Well my casual hints work because before we leave the bar we are all pumped for some good ol' burgers at Sliders.. we may even chant.. .. "SLIDERS SLIDERS SLIDERS..Everybody Now..SLIDERS"


Get to sliders..

Do you want to know how much I love Sliders when I am drunk?  One time I was in Sliders enjoying my philly cheesesteak slider when a guy came in and vomited on the floor.  Now if it were real life and not late night I would lose my appetite and run away.  But since I was in Sliders Heaven it did not phase me.. No..I picked up my slider walked right out that door and continued to enjoy it like nothing happened.. and I would do it again...so there.

There is only one thing I love more than Sliders when I am drunk .. (No, not men).. PULLED PORK.. yummmyyyy.  When I was in Florida there was "Pig Butts" .. a stand right outside our hotel filled with all kinds of barbequed goodies.  (I do not think it was actually called "Pig Butts" but there was a huge pig booty out the back of the truck... and because my friends and I are so clever we referred to it as "Pig Butts" or "Butt Pigs".  One late night we got Butt Pigs and it was fabulous.  The next morning I woke up to find something even more fabulous laying next to me.  Again, no it was not a gorgeous man, but instead it was a half eaten pulled pork sandwich......and that was the wildest night I had on spring break.. haha


Bottom line is food is awesome but should be taken away when you are too drunk.


And that's the way the cookie crumbles.. hmm speaking of cookies...

How to pick up the man of your dreams ;)

I want to start by detailing my recent adventures on Spring Break.  I had just broken up with my boyfriend of 3 years a week prior and was ready to hit the beaches and bars as a single gal...or so i thought... woooohhoooo  I just knew all the men would flock towards me...

hahah yeahh right....to my dismay they just weren't flocking.  Obviously they were intimidated by my good looks and sexy aura.  Clearly, all the men in Panama City were begging for me to approach them..

Since I am not like my sexy tan friend "Leila" who can walk into a bar and ask any man buy her a drink I have to be a little more creative with my ways to pick up men....


As soon as I walked in I spotted this hott guy across the bar.. tall dark handsome.. well not really tall but handsome.. i knew I just had to have him..and ofcourse he would want me because duh! im cool and funny and pretty average looking.  Should I be cool and approach him and strike up a little convo.. "hey where you from?" (even though I already knew.. Delaware).... well no that surely wouldn't work.   I know!  I'll stand across the bar and pretend I'm fishing for him!!  That will surely do the trick!  So there I stood.. in my drunken stooper.. waving and casting my imaginary fishing pole at this hott man across the bar....

Needless to say it failed!  I continued this a few.. 2 maybe 3 times til I realized this fish was just not gonna bite.. so I moved on to my next pick up line...I will creep stalk you and tell you how attractive you are....

And, when that didn't work I moved on to some more men and decided to hump them.. yess hump them.. as they walked past.... still fail. what is wrong with me?!?!?? Maybe i have been out of the game too long to understand what is socially acceptable and what is not.  Maybe i am too forward and maybe i should just let men come to me.  But, that's NO fun.  Shouldn't you go for what you want..even if he consistently runs away? "I will get you!" hahaha... we're not playing tag...although I apparently think we are..

That's another thing.. once 3 or 4 men turned down my sexy advances (reminder: fishing pole, hump) I decided that instead of going to home and calling it a night I would "text rape" my one guy friend. WHYYYY??? Because I can't handle being rejected from every guy in one night...

That reminds me of high school.. I tried to make out with my good friend Timmay before we were good friends and he denied me so then I decided to try to make out with one of my other guy friends (who wound up being my best friend's boyfriend later on in life, but thats besides the point.. what a twisted web..).  He was soooooooo NOT into it, but could I take no for an answer? Ofcourse not.  To me it was a game.. HE WILL WANT ME.. so I chased him around into my friends laundry room and pinned him up against the washer and kissed him.. hott.. I know. That's how I roll. And, after that he wound up being really into me.. atleast I think.. he may comment and say otherwise ha. what do ya think? you know who you are? ;)

So my question is.. how far is too far?  I am pretty sure that men like forward women, but am I taking it to a whole new level of forward?  Is it wrong for us women to go for what we want?  Why is there such a double standard??...

a little about me... because im awesome

welcome all (aka probably 2 maybe 3 of my friends) to my wonderful blog.. the way the cookie crumbles.   I decided to create a blog because of my supercool friends Leila (her blog name) .. and Joshheryyn.

My name is Kelcie... pronounced Kelsey not Kelis. Yes my milkshake does bring all the boyz to the yard, but I am far from the established (if you can call her established) music artist.  In my spare time I enjoy stalking people on facebook, watching criminal minds, and googling tattoo designs. yes, cool i know. 

I think now is the perfect time for me to start a blog.  I'm recently single and my entries will start by detailing my transition from couplestown to singleville.... quite the trip.  I think it is interesting and quite humorous for me recently entering the "single scene" in college.  Although I was single my freshman year of college, I honestly can not even remember it, and therefore I feel like a little baby chicken thrown to a pack of wolves (college men). ahhh! how do i act? what do i do? why do people play games? what games are we playing? i just cant keep up.. well read my blog and you'll see just how the cookie crumbles ;)