How to pick up the man of your dreams ;)

I want to start by detailing my recent adventures on Spring Break.  I had just broken up with my boyfriend of 3 years a week prior and was ready to hit the beaches and bars as a single gal...or so i thought... woooohhoooo  I just knew all the men would flock towards me...

hahah yeahh right....to my dismay they just weren't flocking.  Obviously they were intimidated by my good looks and sexy aura.  Clearly, all the men in Panama City were begging for me to approach them..

Since I am not like my sexy tan friend "Leila" who can walk into a bar and ask any man buy her a drink I have to be a little more creative with my ways to pick up men....


As soon as I walked in I spotted this hott guy across the bar.. tall dark handsome.. well not really tall but handsome.. i knew I just had to have him..and ofcourse he would want me because duh! im cool and funny and pretty average looking.  Should I be cool and approach him and strike up a little convo.. "hey where you from?" (even though I already knew.. Delaware).... well no that surely wouldn't work.   I know!  I'll stand across the bar and pretend I'm fishing for him!!  That will surely do the trick!  So there I stood.. in my drunken stooper.. waving and casting my imaginary fishing pole at this hott man across the bar....

Needless to say it failed!  I continued this a few.. 2 maybe 3 times til I realized this fish was just not gonna bite.. so I moved on to my next pick up line...I will creep stalk you and tell you how attractive you are....

And, when that didn't work I moved on to some more men and decided to hump them.. yess hump them.. as they walked past.... still fail. what is wrong with me?!?!?? Maybe i have been out of the game too long to understand what is socially acceptable and what is not.  Maybe i am too forward and maybe i should just let men come to me.  But, that's NO fun.  Shouldn't you go for what you want..even if he consistently runs away? "I will get you!" hahaha... we're not playing tag...although I apparently think we are..

That's another thing.. once 3 or 4 men turned down my sexy advances (reminder: fishing pole, hump) I decided that instead of going to home and calling it a night I would "text rape" my one guy friend. WHYYYY??? Because I can't handle being rejected from every guy in one night...

That reminds me of high school.. I tried to make out with my good friend Timmay before we were good friends and he denied me so then I decided to try to make out with one of my other guy friends (who wound up being my best friend's boyfriend later on in life, but thats besides the point.. what a twisted web..).  He was soooooooo NOT into it, but could I take no for an answer? Ofcourse not.  To me it was a game.. HE WILL WANT ME.. so I chased him around into my friends laundry room and pinned him up against the washer and kissed him.. hott.. I know. That's how I roll. And, after that he wound up being really into me.. atleast I think.. he may comment and say otherwise ha. what do ya think? you know who you are? ;)

So my question is.. how far is too far?  I am pretty sure that men like forward women, but am I taking it to a whole new level of forward?  Is it wrong for us women to go for what we want?  Why is there such a double standard??...