E.W.I. - Eating While Intoxicated

Eating While Intoxicated or Eating Under the Influence.. Now there's a felony you have never heard of before.  But the fact of the matter is that it should be considered a felony for what it has done to my body and my wallet.  I wish I got arrested for Eating While Intoxicated because maybe then I would have learned my lesson and stopped cold turkey.  But unfortunately, the same thing happens every time my girl friends and I go out..

Before we start to drink at the house we discuss how we are NOT going to get food after the bar later on that night.  We are absolutely 100% positive that we will not eat.  We start giving each other high fives and shaking hands, and even taking a few shots to the fact that WE WILL NOT EAT..

So we go to the bar.. and we're dancin doing our thang... pickin up men with the moves referred to in my 2nd blog (how to pick up the man of your dreams).. until wait..what is this?? is my stomach growling?  oh no, i look around.. I wonder if anyone else is thinking the same thing I am thinking which is.. "NEED FOOD NOWWWW!!"  Instead of blurting out that I want to go to DP Dough and eat 5 calzones then go to Sliders I try to ease the fact that I am hungry, and maybe contemplating getting food, into the conversation..

"Wow guys my stomach is growling.. so weird considering I just ate an hour ago.. "
Hmm.. no real reaction.. okay so I figure I will wait and mention it like an hour later ..Maybe then they'll be down....

5 minutes later.. "So, who is feeling sliders later?  Anyone, anyone?"

*Looks of disgust*

Ok well that was a fail.. so I just give it some time and by giving it some time I mean casually slipping sliders into the conversation every 5 minutes.. "OMG guys I love this song.. It really reminds me of the philly cheesteak slider at SLIDERS"..."That is guy is so hott over there.. He looks like he would like a Buffalo Chicken Slider"...

Well my casual hints work because before we leave the bar we are all pumped for some good ol' burgers at Sliders.. we may even chant.. .. "SLIDERS SLIDERS SLIDERS..Everybody Now..SLIDERS"


Get to sliders..

Do you want to know how much I love Sliders when I am drunk?  One time I was in Sliders enjoying my philly cheesesteak slider when a guy came in and vomited on the floor.  Now if it were real life and not late night I would lose my appetite and run away.  But since I was in Sliders Heaven it did not phase me.. No..I picked up my slider walked right out that door and continued to enjoy it like nothing happened.. and I would do it again...so there.

There is only one thing I love more than Sliders when I am drunk .. (No, not men).. PULLED PORK.. yummmyyyy.  When I was in Florida there was "Pig Butts" .. a stand right outside our hotel filled with all kinds of barbequed goodies.  (I do not think it was actually called "Pig Butts" but there was a huge pig booty out the back of the truck... and because my friends and I are so clever we referred to it as "Pig Butts" or "Butt Pigs".  One late night we got Butt Pigs and it was fabulous.  The next morning I woke up to find something even more fabulous laying next to me.  Again, no it was not a gorgeous man, but instead it was a half eaten pulled pork sandwich......and that was the wildest night I had on spring break.. haha


Bottom line is food is awesome but should be taken away when you are too drunk.


And that's the way the cookie crumbles.. hmm speaking of cookies...