Our society is screwed up.. in more ways than one, but one thing particularly stuck out at me this morning as I stopped at 711 for my morning coffee.
I go to 711 usually once a day sometimes twice. I am usually on my way to work, so I am dressed up, my hair is tamed, and I have already applied at least a little make up. On these days, my trip to 711 is always a wonderful experience. I park my car across the parking lot (because usually it is too packed in the morning to get a good spot). A man who is already at the door spots me walking across the parking lot, and waits to hold the door open. I thank him then head towards the coffee to fulfill my need for caffeine. The coffee station is crowded as well, and I smile as a man turns to me and mutters something about the crowd, or mondays, or the need for coffee, or anything really. I then fill up my cup and search for the milk and a lid. Everyone apologizes to me for being in my way of the milk or the coffee lids, and I smile and say its quite alright. I then proceed to the cashier who greets me with a friendly hello, asks how my day is, and tells me to "stay cool" due to the skyrocketing temperatures this summer. He then wishes me a good day, and I proceed to the door where a man walking in holds the door open for me.
All in all these days I have a wonderful experience at 711. I leave happy.
Today it was a bit different. This morning I was on my way home from my boyfriends house. I had on a t-shirt and athletic shorts with flip flops. My hair was thrown up in a messy bun, and the idea of makeup hadn't even crossed my mind yet. Today I got out of my car, excited to grab that great cup of coffee, and expecting my usual experience at the chain convenience store. I parked my car across the parking lot (as per usual due to the crowds) and proceeded towards the door. A man went in right in front of me. Not only did he not hold the door for me, but he didn't even do one of those "push-backs", where you give the door a little push for the person behind you. No, he let the door go which hit me in the arm and he didn't even turn to apologize. Then I proceeded to the coffee station, where I waited behind some people for the crowds to disburse. No one smiled at me, no one tried to spark up conversation, and when I got my coffee and was searching for the milk people stood in my way not even noticing that I was patiently waiting. I then went to the cashier who rang me up with little enthusiasm. No "How are you?" No "Have a great day." And, need I say, no one held the door for me on my way out.
So, was my experience today a rare coincidence? Are people more susceptive and friendly to a "businesswoman"? Do you have to be dressed up with your hair and makeup done to get a little courtesy? What ever happened to 'don't judge a book by its cover', eh?
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Monday, May 23, 2011
Graduation
Ah. Graduation is rapidly approaching. In fact it is this Saturday. Well if it were up to me I wouldn't go and the only reason I am attending is for my parents and grandparents, even though yesterday my Dad told me how he was dreading the ridiculously long 2 ceremonies I must attend. So, why the hell am I going?! I get that graduation is a time thats all about you where everyone in your life whom you love can praise your accomplishments. But, seriously I would rather get a knock on my door with the University delivering my diploma scotch taped onto a 12 pack of Sam Adams Summer Ale with a note that says "Good job!". That would be a better way to honor my accomplishments.
Really though...What have we accomplished throughout these four years of college? College wasn't that hard. I am sorry but it wasn't. Yeah there were times that I was stressed, but I think I got through pretty easily minus one poor semester where I was in the midst of "finding myself"(yes, thats what I am calling it).
I guess the best thing about graduation is the money that I will hopefully get from my relatives. knock on wood. I am not excited about the ugly blue gown and brown hood I must wear. Ew. I am not excited about sitting still for like 5 hours. yuck. And I am not excited about the endless amounts of pictures my father is going to make me take. I am NOT photogenic so days like these are not my favorite.
The good news is that after this graduation ceremony there probably won't be that many more I will have to sit through. My graduation from grad school.. but hopefully my parents will let me skip that one. Baby bro's graduation which will be in 2 years. Hopefully at that point I will have a SmartPhone and can be on the internet the whole time. And, then I think I am in the clear!! :) ..until the one day I eventually have kids. Then its like preschool graduation, kindergarten graduation, 5th grade graduation, 8th grade graduation, high school graduation, college graduation, med school and or law school graduation haha.
So the moral to this story is.... Lets get rid of the ceremonies. Graduations are about honoring the ones we love and praising them for their accomplishments. Lets hand the graduates a diploma and then their family and friends can congratulate them and give them checks. The end.
Really though...What have we accomplished throughout these four years of college? College wasn't that hard. I am sorry but it wasn't. Yeah there were times that I was stressed, but I think I got through pretty easily minus one poor semester where I was in the midst of "finding myself"(yes, thats what I am calling it).
I guess the best thing about graduation is the money that I will hopefully get from my relatives. knock on wood. I am not excited about the ugly blue gown and brown hood I must wear. Ew. I am not excited about sitting still for like 5 hours. yuck. And I am not excited about the endless amounts of pictures my father is going to make me take. I am NOT photogenic so days like these are not my favorite.
The good news is that after this graduation ceremony there probably won't be that many more I will have to sit through. My graduation from grad school.. but hopefully my parents will let me skip that one. Baby bro's graduation which will be in 2 years. Hopefully at that point I will have a SmartPhone and can be on the internet the whole time. And, then I think I am in the clear!! :) ..until the one day I eventually have kids. Then its like preschool graduation, kindergarten graduation, 5th grade graduation, 8th grade graduation, high school graduation, college graduation, med school and or law school graduation haha.
So the moral to this story is.... Lets get rid of the ceremonies. Graduations are about honoring the ones we love and praising them for their accomplishments. Lets hand the graduates a diploma and then their family and friends can congratulate them and give them checks. The end.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Technology
I really do not know what people did before technology. I have to write a paper for my business law class about a case that relates to a topic we have studied over the past three months. So, I played eenie meenie miniee mo and picked a chapter out of the textbook then picked a topic in that textbook. I then went to google.com and typed in the topic "Equal Employment Opportunity Commission Cases 2011" and an abundance of sources came up. How easy was that? All within 3 minutes I picked a topic that I would write about. What was it like when my parents were going to school and you actually had to do "research" that entailed going to the library and countless hours of reading through books. For them, back in the day, it was probably fine. They probably thought "Wow! The library is great! All these phenomenal resources in books that are in one place and all I need to do is spending three hours reading through them." What a life we have when now 3 hours of research is reduced to 3 minutes of research. And then I can start typing in Microsoft Word and ramble on for a few minutes until I go back and edit whatever I just wrote. No need to rewrite anything, just edit it. We are SPOILED with all this information at the tips of our fingers. I can google anything I want and get a response. Anything. I can google a recipe, a person, a song, an event, and I will always be rewarded with an abundance of links that relate to whatever I searched. And, if google takes more than 2 seconds to retrieve data I will get angry, which is ridiculous don't you think?
Cell phones. I don't even understand how land line telephones work, let alone cell phones. Texting is a miracle, and I bet that if someone told you 30 years ago that you would one day be able to send an instant "text" to someone saying whatever you wanted people would say NO WAY! And not even just texting! I can take a picture right here of something in Delaware and text it to someone back home in New York and they will receive it all in the matter of maybe a minute.
I am starting to agree, however, with the many accusations that technology is actually hindering our ability to grow as human beings. I feel that since I grew up on a "technology high" I can not even begin to imagine not having it. I would go through some serious withdrawals. However, I think I am going to try to limit my social interaction via the internet and cell phones. I find that recently email, facebook, and texting are my primary forms of communication because they are simple. I rarely call someone on the telephone because why call when you can text? Here's why you should call: It's more personal. Here's why you should get out of the house and knock on your friend's door instead of calling them: It's more personal. If we are already a generation with limited face to face communication with other individuals I fear what the next generation is going to be like. Is it possible that the next generation's individuals will be even more removed from other individuals?
So I think that we as a society need to snap out of this technology high. We need to turn off our cell phones and computers. We need to take the time to interact with other people on a more personal level. If we limit our reliance and dependence on technology I feel that our society will really thrive as a whole in terms of relationships. Life is about the relationships you have with other people, and technology really lessens the quality of these relationships.
So I challenge you to try to spend one day without technology. And if you think that you would not survive, then you are proving my point that our reliance on it is ridiculous.
Cell phones. I don't even understand how land line telephones work, let alone cell phones. Texting is a miracle, and I bet that if someone told you 30 years ago that you would one day be able to send an instant "text" to someone saying whatever you wanted people would say NO WAY! And not even just texting! I can take a picture right here of something in Delaware and text it to someone back home in New York and they will receive it all in the matter of maybe a minute.
I am starting to agree, however, with the many accusations that technology is actually hindering our ability to grow as human beings. I feel that since I grew up on a "technology high" I can not even begin to imagine not having it. I would go through some serious withdrawals. However, I think I am going to try to limit my social interaction via the internet and cell phones. I find that recently email, facebook, and texting are my primary forms of communication because they are simple. I rarely call someone on the telephone because why call when you can text? Here's why you should call: It's more personal. Here's why you should get out of the house and knock on your friend's door instead of calling them: It's more personal. If we are already a generation with limited face to face communication with other individuals I fear what the next generation is going to be like. Is it possible that the next generation's individuals will be even more removed from other individuals?
So I think that we as a society need to snap out of this technology high. We need to turn off our cell phones and computers. We need to take the time to interact with other people on a more personal level. If we limit our reliance and dependence on technology I feel that our society will really thrive as a whole in terms of relationships. Life is about the relationships you have with other people, and technology really lessens the quality of these relationships.
So I challenge you to try to spend one day without technology. And if you think that you would not survive, then you are proving my point that our reliance on it is ridiculous.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Horoscopes.
I am not that into horoscopes. Why you ask? BECAUSE THEY ARE A BUNCH OF BULLSHIT!
And, I refuse to believe that shit until I get some more details okay? Enough with the vagueness, astrological signs.
Here's some of my horoscopes from different websites for today:
1. Cosmopolitan.com: Spendthrift Jupiter could make money fly through your fingers. If you're shopping, make a list and stick to it.
Nope! Wrong! Because you see for money to fly through my fingers I would have to have more than 50 dollars in my account. So you suck.
2. Horoscope.com: Your ship comes in, Scorpio. Don't be surprised if you find a big, fat check waiting for you. Who knows what you've done to deserve such kindness? Don't question your good fortune- just accept it with calm and grace. Finally, you can implement some of those home improvements. Deep down you deserve it!
Interesting and contradictory.
So here's what I want to know Mr. and Mrs. Horoscope Writers. Is my ship coming in or am I going to be spending all my doe? When is this big, fat check coming and how much is it for so I know how much money I can charge to my credit card? And, how did you know I needed home improvements? Can you tell I live in a beat down college house in which there are birds and other creatures living in the attic?
I think I should start writing horoscopes for people. Really spice things up. It actually seems pretty easy.
Scorpio: You will be a lazy piece of shit today and watch reruns of Law and Order: SVU all day until you finally get out of bed to shower. You may even take some time to write in your blog that no one cares to read anyway. But other than your pathetic waste of a life you will have a great day!
See!! no need to read my horoscope for that! :D
And, I refuse to believe that shit until I get some more details okay? Enough with the vagueness, astrological signs.
Here's some of my horoscopes from different websites for today:
1. Cosmopolitan.com: Spendthrift Jupiter could make money fly through your fingers. If you're shopping, make a list and stick to it.
Nope! Wrong! Because you see for money to fly through my fingers I would have to have more than 50 dollars in my account. So you suck.
2. Horoscope.com: Your ship comes in, Scorpio. Don't be surprised if you find a big, fat check waiting for you. Who knows what you've done to deserve such kindness? Don't question your good fortune- just accept it with calm and grace. Finally, you can implement some of those home improvements. Deep down you deserve it!
Interesting and contradictory.
So here's what I want to know Mr. and Mrs. Horoscope Writers. Is my ship coming in or am I going to be spending all my doe? When is this big, fat check coming and how much is it for so I know how much money I can charge to my credit card? And, how did you know I needed home improvements? Can you tell I live in a beat down college house in which there are birds and other creatures living in the attic?
I think I should start writing horoscopes for people. Really spice things up. It actually seems pretty easy.
Scorpio: You will be a lazy piece of shit today and watch reruns of Law and Order: SVU all day until you finally get out of bed to shower. You may even take some time to write in your blog that no one cares to read anyway. But other than your pathetic waste of a life you will have a great day!
See!! no need to read my horoscope for that! :D
The Sale of Beer at a Gas Station.. Does anyone else see the irony in all this?
When I began college in Newark, Delaware four years ago I was APPALLED to learn that I would be unable to purchase beer at the local gas stations and 711s. And, no not because my fake ID said I was 26 and would literally fall apart if you grabbed it in the wrong spot, but because Delaware does not sell beer at places other than liquor stores. Hmm then maybe it should be called an "alcohol" store? ahem. just sayin'.
I come from good ol' Long Island where you can purchase beer just about anywhere.. 711s, supermarkets and best of all.. gas stations!! I never really saw the irony of the sale of alcohol at a gas station until I lived somewhere that this convenience did not exist. But, with so many laws regarding driving while intoxicated , why does it make sense to sell alcohol at gas stations? Okay, gotta take the hour drive from my mother's house to my father's house. Let me just fill up my tank and get a 6 pack for the road?
Don't get me wrong. I am not hating. It was a fantastic thing back in the day because all the gas stations were more lenient with the purchase of alcohol. Perhaps I would have never drank at such a young age if they did not sell beer at gas stations on Long Island, because where would I have gotten it? Surely, not 711s because I still get carded there. And, there was NO way I was stepping in a liquor store. Or perhaps I would've just stuck to stealing smirnoff raspberry vodka from my mom's cabinet. I do not know.
But the point is... Thank you Long Island for being so cool and encouraging drinking beer at such a young age. If not for the sale of beer in gas stations it is quite possible that my love for beer may not have grown to be the love I have for it today. And that would just be a tragedy.
I come from good ol' Long Island where you can purchase beer just about anywhere.. 711s, supermarkets and best of all.. gas stations!! I never really saw the irony of the sale of alcohol at a gas station until I lived somewhere that this convenience did not exist. But, with so many laws regarding driving while intoxicated , why does it make sense to sell alcohol at gas stations? Okay, gotta take the hour drive from my mother's house to my father's house. Let me just fill up my tank and get a 6 pack for the road?
Don't get me wrong. I am not hating. It was a fantastic thing back in the day because all the gas stations were more lenient with the purchase of alcohol. Perhaps I would have never drank at such a young age if they did not sell beer at gas stations on Long Island, because where would I have gotten it? Surely, not 711s because I still get carded there. And, there was NO way I was stepping in a liquor store. Or perhaps I would've just stuck to stealing smirnoff raspberry vodka from my mom's cabinet. I do not know.
But the point is... Thank you Long Island for being so cool and encouraging drinking beer at such a young age. If not for the sale of beer in gas stations it is quite possible that my love for beer may not have grown to be the love I have for it today. And that would just be a tragedy.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Chivalry.. Something of the 1800's? I think NOT!
When I looked up the word "chivalry"on dictionary.com this is what popped up:
l-ree] 
Show IP
A
chiv·al·ry
[shiv-uhl-ree] Show IPA
–noun, plural -ries for 6.
1.
the sum of the ideal qualifications of a knight, includingcourtesy, generosity, valor, and dexterity in arms.
2.
the rules and customs of medieval knighthood.
3.
the medieval system or institution of knighthood.
Then I decided to look up the word "chivalry" on a much more liberal site, one of my favorite dictionary sites.. urbandictionary.com. And here's what I found...
| 10. | chivalry | 31 up, 79 down |
Doing whatever a woman wants and tells you to to try to get laid. Being pussywhipped and being a chick's slave. See "gentleman" and "real man". John thinks spending lots of money on his girl and doing what she tells him is chivalry. Even though she thinks she's equal she wants none of the responsibilities of being an adult. His balls are in his purse and she doesn't respect him. Hmmmm Well I don't think either one of these definitions is legit, and now I get why chivalry is said to be"dead". Clearly we are no longer in the 1800s or whenever it was that the medieval times occurred (and I am probably way off with the time period.. not a history buff) so we can't relate to that ideal vision of a knight. And then we have the definition as it relates to today's society which involves being pussywhipped... and why would a man ever want to be called (and I am quoting urban dictionary) "pussywhipped"?? Do men who are actually good guys and chivalrous get made fun of by their friends for being "pussywhipped"? Should women believe urban dictionary's definition that every man that acts chivalrous is trying to f#$% you? If a man opens the door for a woman should she assume he is being a nice guy, or is she to assume he is trying to get in her pants? Well, I personally believe the former, even though I am sure there are plenty of guys who perform the latter. Personally, I believe that chivalry is not dead. And, personally I would never date and/or ever consider dating a man who does not take the time to open the door for me at a restaurant, or open the car door for me (all the time), or push me to the inside of the sidewalk so that I am not walking close to the cars. Call me spoiled. Call me cheesy. But I think its a wonderful thing. Why are we, as women, in today's society so shocked when men actually do something nice? Last week I was at the bar with my girls and this guy was talking to one of my friends. He introduced himself, shook all of our hands and I thought WOW! what a nice guy! Something as simple as a handshake made me determine that this random person was nice? Why? Because it DOESN'T happen all the time. Matter of fact.. rarely. But, the truth is we shouldn't be all that surprised when a guy does something so simple as shake our hand? We should expect men to be nice and respectful. Just sayin. So the moral to my story is if your man/ a man is not chivalrous now chances are he'll never be so ditch the loser and find your "knight in shining armor". Yup, that is my advice. And please don't tell me chivalry is dead and that men aren't like that nowadays and that is just how it is. While chivalrous men may be an "endangered species", I can tell you for a fact that they are certainly not extinct. And, if chivalry is something you value, like me, you should never settle for anything less. | ||
My life without coffee.
My life without coffee would be a DISASTER. I thought about giving up coffee for lent, but realized that that would mean 40 days of crazy, psychotic, angry, unproductive, bitchy me which just would not be fun for anyone. Today I went to the foodstore with only 20 dollars to spend. I have no food in my house, and my mother gave me $160 on Wednesday so that I could buy food to last me the next 3 weeks at school, but instead of purchasing nutritional food that would last me 3 weeks, my dollar bills found their way to every bar on Main Street and Margheritas pizza. So, hence I was left with 20 dollars for food :( . What was on my list? Oh you know the essentials. 1. Milk 2. Bread 3. Coffee. 4. Pretzels. And that's about all I could afford considering I can't buy the cheap Acme Brand coffee, but have to buy Java Hazelnut Cream thats like $8 for a tiny package. But, I rationalize it by saying to myself that without this good coffee I would not do well in school or life.. in fact I would probably have 0 incentive to get out of bed. Well, that's a bit extreme, but you get the picture. Or better yet heres a picture..
Me Without Coffee
Now about fifteen minutes later...
It is honestly amazing what one drink can do! Whenever I am bummed about going to class.. what do I do? Stop and get a cup of coffee! Whenever I am in no mood to go to work.. what do I do? Stop and get a cup of coffee! Whenever I am stressed, angry, happy, confused, sad, you name it.. coffee is where I turn.
I am not really sure when I started drinking coffee. I think it was during the midst of my adolescence when I just thought it made me look "cooler". Little did I know I would never be kewl. Oh yes, first I began with Dunkin Donuts Caramel Lattes which were super delicious because you couldn't even taste the expresso..in fact the only reason I would drink them would be to get down to all the caramel at the bottom..yum..
Then I was soon able to stomach the idea of drinking regular lattes and even cappucinos. And, one morning I eventually found myself gulping down a huge mug of good ol fashioned coffee. And, that was the day my life changed. And so now its every morning.. 2 cups of coffee. little bit of milk.. then a stop at dunkin donuts or 711 on my way to class or work for a large dose of some more goodness.. then around 3 or 4 my afternoon coffee.. and sometimes during exam weeks I will even have a cup or two at night. What an addiction! But, its something I have grown accustomed with and everyone who knows me knows that before you speak to me in the morning you better make sure you get a large cup o joe in me otherwise you may wind up listening to a string of curse words.
So my point. For me there is nothing better than a good cup of coffee.
And thats the way the cookie crumbles.. and cookies with a side (aka pot) of coffee are delicious.
Me Without Coffee
Now about fifteen minutes later...
It is honestly amazing what one drink can do! Whenever I am bummed about going to class.. what do I do? Stop and get a cup of coffee! Whenever I am in no mood to go to work.. what do I do? Stop and get a cup of coffee! Whenever I am stressed, angry, happy, confused, sad, you name it.. coffee is where I turn.
I am not really sure when I started drinking coffee. I think it was during the midst of my adolescence when I just thought it made me look "cooler". Little did I know I would never be kewl. Oh yes, first I began with Dunkin Donuts Caramel Lattes which were super delicious because you couldn't even taste the expresso..in fact the only reason I would drink them would be to get down to all the caramel at the bottom..yum..
Then I was soon able to stomach the idea of drinking regular lattes and even cappucinos. And, one morning I eventually found myself gulping down a huge mug of good ol fashioned coffee. And, that was the day my life changed. And so now its every morning.. 2 cups of coffee. little bit of milk.. then a stop at dunkin donuts or 711 on my way to class or work for a large dose of some more goodness.. then around 3 or 4 my afternoon coffee.. and sometimes during exam weeks I will even have a cup or two at night. What an addiction! But, its something I have grown accustomed with and everyone who knows me knows that before you speak to me in the morning you better make sure you get a large cup o joe in me otherwise you may wind up listening to a string of curse words.
So my point. For me there is nothing better than a good cup of coffee.
And thats the way the cookie crumbles.. and cookies with a side (aka pot) of coffee are delicious.
Monday, May 2, 2011
the cure for boredom is alcohol?
Recently I have been feeling very bored with everything. I don't want to do my school work because its boring. I don't want to go to work because its boring. I try to sit and watch tv or go on facebook, but how long can you really do that for? I am so anxious because all I want to do is go out and do something. But, realistically, what is there to do as a college student? Go to the gym? Did that already? Eat? Did that already like 5 times. So this is why whenever I am bored I resort to drinking.
Yesterday was Sunday. It was about 4 or 5pm and I realized that I could not sit in my room any longer so I asked my roommate if she wanted to go drink somewhere. Like really? Is that necessary? I drank Thursday, Friday, and Saturday fairly excessively and now I want to drink again.
I feel like this is an issue for me and maybe it is an issue for others as well (I feel like it is kind of a trend in college, but I don't want to generalize.) Its Monday night now and I was thinking about drinking.. asking my other roommate if she is going out tomorrow. I am even considering currently cracking open a few beers to help me pass the time. I am starting to feel like this may be an issue, and I probably would definitely have identified it as an issue sooner if I was not in college. I have justified my addiction to alcohol with the line "everyone drinks 5 days a week.. its totally normal". But really? Is it?
What's the imaginary line that you shouldn't cross? Is it bad that last Tuesday in the midst of taking an exam I was thinking that I just want to get the f#$% out of here and get to the bar? Or is this acceptable? I am honestly curious what other people think because I want to know if its just me.
Yesterday was Sunday. It was about 4 or 5pm and I realized that I could not sit in my room any longer so I asked my roommate if she wanted to go drink somewhere. Like really? Is that necessary? I drank Thursday, Friday, and Saturday fairly excessively and now I want to drink again.
I feel like this is an issue for me and maybe it is an issue for others as well (I feel like it is kind of a trend in college, but I don't want to generalize.) Its Monday night now and I was thinking about drinking.. asking my other roommate if she is going out tomorrow. I am even considering currently cracking open a few beers to help me pass the time. I am starting to feel like this may be an issue, and I probably would definitely have identified it as an issue sooner if I was not in college. I have justified my addiction to alcohol with the line "everyone drinks 5 days a week.. its totally normal". But really? Is it?
What's the imaginary line that you shouldn't cross? Is it bad that last Tuesday in the midst of taking an exam I was thinking that I just want to get the f#$% out of here and get to the bar? Or is this acceptable? I am honestly curious what other people think because I want to know if its just me.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Long Island pronounced "LAAAWWNGUYLAND"
I am sick of the Long Island stereotypes. See link: Urban Dictionary Long Island Girl
Yes, I am from Long Island, but that definition provided for a Long Island girl is absolutely ridiculous, and I intend to prove that it is false! :)
A friend was telling me the other day that he generally doesn't like people from Long Island or North Jersey. So I must ask, why does Long Island have such a stereotype? And, why do I know so many people from Long Island who are like me and NOT the stereotypical "LongIslander" that haters describe us as.
Here's why I don't fit your idiotic description of a Long Islander:
1. I am not rich. People have misconceptions that everyone from Long Island is ridiculously wealthy. Um no. I drive a Honda Civic. My house growing up was a small cape with three bedrooms and one bathroom. My parents do NOT give me money every time I ask for it. And, I have been working since high school. And, I have a gigantic amount of student loans so it should be noted that mommy and daddy are not paying the full amount of my college tuition.
2. I am not a guidette. I get that J WOW is from L.I. and there are some guidos and guidettes on the island but there are chill people too (like me). We go to chill bars with a relaxed scene and an abundance of good beers. So, no, not every bar is a full on club and not every 21 year old likes to fist pump and/or have nasty randos grindin all up on them.
3. I am not a BITCH. (well not all the time.) Freshman year I was at a party and started talking to this guy. He asked me where I was from and I said Long Island. :) His response was "You must be a bitch". And, he turned and walked away.
So what is with the stereotypes? Many cool people have grown up on this fabulous island..aka:
And if you don't know who that is I hate you. :) Just kidding.. but you really should because he is AMAZING!
That's all for now.
xo,
TWTCC
Yes, I am from Long Island, but that definition provided for a Long Island girl is absolutely ridiculous, and I intend to prove that it is false! :)
A friend was telling me the other day that he generally doesn't like people from Long Island or North Jersey. So I must ask, why does Long Island have such a stereotype? And, why do I know so many people from Long Island who are like me and NOT the stereotypical "LongIslander" that haters describe us as.
Here's why I don't fit your idiotic description of a Long Islander:
1. I am not rich. People have misconceptions that everyone from Long Island is ridiculously wealthy. Um no. I drive a Honda Civic. My house growing up was a small cape with three bedrooms and one bathroom. My parents do NOT give me money every time I ask for it. And, I have been working since high school. And, I have a gigantic amount of student loans so it should be noted that mommy and daddy are not paying the full amount of my college tuition.
2. I am not a guidette. I get that J WOW is from L.I. and there are some guidos and guidettes on the island but there are chill people too (like me). We go to chill bars with a relaxed scene and an abundance of good beers. So, no, not every bar is a full on club and not every 21 year old likes to fist pump and/or have nasty randos grindin all up on them.
3. I am not a BITCH. (well not all the time.) Freshman year I was at a party and started talking to this guy. He asked me where I was from and I said Long Island. :) His response was "You must be a bitch". And, he turned and walked away.
So what is with the stereotypes? Many cool people have grown up on this fabulous island..aka:
That's all for now.
xo,
TWTCC
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Why the weather man sucks..
I have such issues with the weather man and weather.com. I really think everyone who is a meteorologist for that site posts information with the intentions of screwing with me. It started my freshman year of college. Since I lived in a dorm building that was from like the early 1900's (really it was 1969 ..I only remember that because its 69 and I am immature) the windows were small and the room was cluttered so it was hard to look outside and see what the weather was like. And, it was also to my disadvantage that our window faced the infamous train so I could not even look outside and see what other folks were wearing (which I do now). So, due to the fact that I could not look outside to gauge the temperature I would resort to weather.com.
One day I checked the weather for Newark, DE. "46 degrees. Chance of precipitation=100%." So here I go.. I got my jeans on.. my Delaware sweatshirt and my skull rainboots (yes, they're cool) . I meet my friend Leila by her room so that we can walk to class together and I see that she is wearing a sundress. I laughed in my head. "She is going to be sorry she did that. She should've checked weather.com" Boy, was I wrong. We stepped outside. No rain. Not even any clouds. She had checked accuweather.com which told her it was 69 degrees and sunny. God damn it. So that day I was "that asshole" who rocked skull rainboots even though it was sunny.. hate people like that.
It happened again yesterday morning. Weather.com indicated to me that it was sunny and in the 70's. Perfect! I had been waiting to break out my sundresses. So, I got all dolled up (not really) in my short pink flowey sundress which was perfect for this "first taste of summer weather" occasion. I left my house at 9am and began to walk to class. Wait! What is that?? A dark, massive cloud in the distance that is saying "HAHA yes Kelcie we are fucking with you". Just at that moment, while I was cursing the cloud under my breath, Mother Nature chose to fuck with me some more and sent a huge gust of wind my way proving that my decision to wear a short flowey pink dress was a bad choice. And, of course it could not be at an off hour. No it was 9am on a Tuesday and the road I live on is quite busy with traffic always so at 9am it is really bumping. Pretty sure I flashed a mom and her child in a minivan. yahtzee!
So my question to you weather.com is why are you SCREWING with me?? Tell me the truth please. I don't like this little game you're playing anymore. And, until you redeem yourself I am going to use accuweather.com. So there! That's the way the cookie crumbles.
One day I checked the weather for Newark, DE. "46 degrees. Chance of precipitation=100%." So here I go.. I got my jeans on.. my Delaware sweatshirt and my skull rainboots (yes, they're cool) . I meet my friend Leila by her room so that we can walk to class together and I see that she is wearing a sundress. I laughed in my head. "She is going to be sorry she did that. She should've checked weather.com" Boy, was I wrong. We stepped outside. No rain. Not even any clouds. She had checked accuweather.com which told her it was 69 degrees and sunny. God damn it. So that day I was "that asshole" who rocked skull rainboots even though it was sunny.. hate people like that.
It happened again yesterday morning. Weather.com indicated to me that it was sunny and in the 70's. Perfect! I had been waiting to break out my sundresses. So, I got all dolled up (not really) in my short pink flowey sundress which was perfect for this "first taste of summer weather" occasion. I left my house at 9am and began to walk to class. Wait! What is that?? A dark, massive cloud in the distance that is saying "HAHA yes Kelcie we are fucking with you". Just at that moment, while I was cursing the cloud under my breath, Mother Nature chose to fuck with me some more and sent a huge gust of wind my way proving that my decision to wear a short flowey pink dress was a bad choice. And, of course it could not be at an off hour. No it was 9am on a Tuesday and the road I live on is quite busy with traffic always so at 9am it is really bumping. Pretty sure I flashed a mom and her child in a minivan. yahtzee!
So my question to you weather.com is why are you SCREWING with me?? Tell me the truth please. I don't like this little game you're playing anymore. And, until you redeem yourself I am going to use accuweather.com. So there! That's the way the cookie crumbles.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
To cry or not to cry..
Crying. It is just so interesting. Yes, of course, the actual act of crying is mind boggling to me. Where does it come from? What is it? Why does it taste salty? I really hope my roommate Jocelyn will have some scientific answers to these questions for me later. But that is not the point. My real question, however, is WHY do we cry?
If you're like me you cry at the drop of a hat. I don't care what it is. Sad, Happy, Confused, Scared, Excited.. I am going to cry. Whatever it involves.. family, friends, men, school, work.. anything can make me cry.
I cry during movies. Love Actually, Fox and the Hound (it's a Disney Movie), and even Sex and the City. What can I say? I am a sucker for a good cry, and I guess I am a bit of a romantic because everything that has to do with love makes me cry. "Say Yes to the Dress", a show where women shop for their wedding dresses, makes me cry. Commercials. Oh my god, they make me cry. That one phone commercial where the father takes a picture of the monkey in front of the various locations he travels to (Eiffel Tower..etc) makes me cry. Soo cute. I am pretty sure I once cried during a Venus razor commercial with Jennifer Lopez. She was running along the beach with her kids and I just thought damn to have that kind of happiness and smooth legs.. so I cried.
Sometimes I cry when I get too stressed out.. which is reasonable I think.. if it has to do with school/work or something of that nature. But sometimes I get stressed because I have to clean my room, do laundry, and go to the food store all in the same day. Wah! Yup, that deserves a cry.
Secondly, location of a cry is important. Yes I cry in my room, in the shower, in public.. but my favorite place to cry is WITHOUT A DOUBT my car. There's something about it. I am upset about something and I can get in my car and pretend that I am driving away from all my problems even if I am just driving around the block. Love crying in the car. But the worst thing is when you're not prepared for it. One time I was driving home from school on the Jersey Turnpike and boom! "Time of Your Life" by Green Day comes on. Uh oh here come the water works. I don't know why. But.. I was not prepared. No tissues no napkins.. which was the worst.. because by the time I got home 2 hours later my shirt was doused in tears and snot. Ha lovely.
What is odd about the whole crying thing is that I can not control it. I cry at the most ridiculous things, yet find myself unable to cry at events that are actually worth crying over. My parents divorce. Didn't shed one freakin' tear. And I was devastated, but I just couldn't cry. This past year my grandmother's sister passed away and I saw how sad my grandmother was and I felt that pain, but I just could not cry.
So what is it about crying? Why am I programmed to cry at ridiculous things like the Sex and the City movie or the Venus razor commercial, yet can't seem to cry when actual sad things occur? Is that just the way the cookie crumbles?
If you're like me you cry at the drop of a hat. I don't care what it is. Sad, Happy, Confused, Scared, Excited.. I am going to cry. Whatever it involves.. family, friends, men, school, work.. anything can make me cry.
I cry during movies. Love Actually, Fox and the Hound (it's a Disney Movie), and even Sex and the City. What can I say? I am a sucker for a good cry, and I guess I am a bit of a romantic because everything that has to do with love makes me cry. "Say Yes to the Dress", a show where women shop for their wedding dresses, makes me cry. Commercials. Oh my god, they make me cry. That one phone commercial where the father takes a picture of the monkey in front of the various locations he travels to (Eiffel Tower..etc) makes me cry. Soo cute. I am pretty sure I once cried during a Venus razor commercial with Jennifer Lopez. She was running along the beach with her kids and I just thought damn to have that kind of happiness and smooth legs.. so I cried.
Sometimes I cry when I get too stressed out.. which is reasonable I think.. if it has to do with school/work or something of that nature. But sometimes I get stressed because I have to clean my room, do laundry, and go to the food store all in the same day. Wah! Yup, that deserves a cry.
Secondly, location of a cry is important. Yes I cry in my room, in the shower, in public.. but my favorite place to cry is WITHOUT A DOUBT my car. There's something about it. I am upset about something and I can get in my car and pretend that I am driving away from all my problems even if I am just driving around the block. Love crying in the car. But the worst thing is when you're not prepared for it. One time I was driving home from school on the Jersey Turnpike and boom! "Time of Your Life" by Green Day comes on. Uh oh here come the water works. I don't know why. But.. I was not prepared. No tissues no napkins.. which was the worst.. because by the time I got home 2 hours later my shirt was doused in tears and snot. Ha lovely.
What is odd about the whole crying thing is that I can not control it. I cry at the most ridiculous things, yet find myself unable to cry at events that are actually worth crying over. My parents divorce. Didn't shed one freakin' tear. And I was devastated, but I just couldn't cry. This past year my grandmother's sister passed away and I saw how sad my grandmother was and I felt that pain, but I just could not cry.
So what is it about crying? Why am I programmed to cry at ridiculous things like the Sex and the City movie or the Venus razor commercial, yet can't seem to cry when actual sad things occur? Is that just the way the cookie crumbles?
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Man's Best Friend..
I have recently thought about becoming more girly. I don't know if its physically possibly after 21 years of life but I am pretty sure it is worth a shot. I was reading my friend Leila's blog the other day and it was about how she thinks she is TOO girly, and I have to say for every point she made I felt the complete opposite.. so I started to worry a little. Maybe it's the fact that I grew up around guys. I have a younger brother and when I was young I spent countless days with him and my two male cousins. So, maybe that's what "screwed" me up. Or maybe it was my mother who is certainly not the most "girly" individual herself, although it seems that she is also making an attempt to be more girly recently.
I tend to refer to a lot of my guy friends as bros and dudes... and even some of my girl friends. And, I have definitely referred to my ex boyfriend as "bro" and "dude" before. I think he got used to it after a while though and wasn't really offended. I guess there is a time and place for everything. Probably fine as long as its outside the "sexual arena". ha.
My male friend once told me and I will quote him, "Kelcie, You might as well have a penis." Enough said.
I find I encourage my male friends and sometimes my brother to "fuck" girls. (Yeah don't worry. It's not as weird as it sounds. We might as well be brothers. I think he looks at me like a brother. And if you're a male and would tell your little brother to fuck girls then I am allowed to do it too.) Probably not the most sisterly advice to give, but then again like I just said I don't really act like a "sister" in that regard.. more like a "brother". Shouldn't I be saying, "Well, why don't you ask a lovely girl from your class who you are interested in getting to know on a date? Get to know her. Get to know what she likes, where she's from, what her goals for the future are." HA I would never say that in a million years. Instead I'm like "yeah go get drunk, get laid, do your thing". Weird and certainly not the most "girly" advice.
A male friend recently texted me to tell me (and I will quote him) "I'm not a father :)"
I feel like a normal woman's response would be, "Well that's great news. You weren't financially or emotionally ready for the responsibilities that go along with having a child. How is the girl handling things? Was she worried/freaking out? Is she okay?". My response was "YAHHHHTTTZZZZEEEEE!". (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jfoVINW1HMk)
As if I have no regards for females at all, when I am in fact a female. So what is wrong with me?
I have also discovered over my 21 years that I would much rather consume some good beer and wings than go anywhere "romantic" and have an actual dinner. Although I thoroughly enjoyed my first date with my ex which was more "romantic", I found that what I enjoyed even more were when we would go out and just drink beer and get burgers. Yeah, I guess I am a cheap date.
Also, I don't know anything about wine. I mean I know that it can get me drunk and that I like.. YAHTZEE! But other than that I find myself offended when a host/hostess at a gathering offers all the men a beer and then says "Kelcie, Would you like a glass of wine?". "Sure, fantastic. Thank you." is always my response, when in reality I am thinking "WHAT THE F$%&, GET ME A MOTHERF$#%IN BEER FOR GOD SAKES!!!!" WAHHHHHH :(
Another thing. Recently my friends and I went to Cheeburger Cheeburger. And our waiter comes over.. seems like a nice guy. He describes all the burgers then gives an in-depth description of the salads. HELLLOOOOO I AM AT FUCKING CHEEBURGER.. it has BURGER in the title. Does it look like I want a fucking salad? Um HELLOOO? "I will take this quarter pound burger with sauteed onions cheese cheese cheese bacon tomatoes lettuce.. No that is not all, don't move on to the next person!.. and I would like one of those big baskets of onion rings, yeah one of those. And, maybe hmm what kind of milkshakes do you have? Oh over 7,000 combinations of milkshakes!? Damn well I will certainly be getting one of those." I am sorry I know it was probably just his job to introduce the entire menu, but I saw a bunch of tall, football looking guys at a table across the restaurant. Do you think the waiter really told them all about the different combinations of salads you could get? Absolutely not! So, why me?
Another reason why I consider myself to be a "guy" is that I enjoy watching movies and television that involve a lot of blood, violence, cursing, and/or sex. Okay I admit I occasionally watch Gossip Girl. (It's my guilty pleasure..but shhh! don't tell anyone.) My favorite shows are Criminal Minds, CSI, and Law and Order. Blood.Blood.Blood. If someone tells me I can pick a movie it is always going to be an action movie or a movie with a lot of sex. I am sorry, I'm honest. (And anything with Matt Damon that involves action/sex is even better.. okay I guess that makes me kind of girly.. but not the fact that I have watched the Bourne series probably like 20 times over... Gets me every time. Ah Jason Bourne.)
So my point is that I am a man's man.. or a man's girl.. or a girl that is like a man.. something of that nature. I don't know that I will ever be girly, but I am recently discovering that I don't have to be. This is the way I am and you know what I am okay with that.
That's the way the cookie crumbles my friends.
I tend to refer to a lot of my guy friends as bros and dudes... and even some of my girl friends. And, I have definitely referred to my ex boyfriend as "bro" and "dude" before. I think he got used to it after a while though and wasn't really offended. I guess there is a time and place for everything. Probably fine as long as its outside the "sexual arena". ha.
My male friend once told me and I will quote him, "Kelcie, You might as well have a penis." Enough said.
I find I encourage my male friends and sometimes my brother to "fuck" girls. (Yeah don't worry. It's not as weird as it sounds. We might as well be brothers. I think he looks at me like a brother. And if you're a male and would tell your little brother to fuck girls then I am allowed to do it too.) Probably not the most sisterly advice to give, but then again like I just said I don't really act like a "sister" in that regard.. more like a "brother". Shouldn't I be saying, "Well, why don't you ask a lovely girl from your class who you are interested in getting to know on a date? Get to know her. Get to know what she likes, where she's from, what her goals for the future are." HA I would never say that in a million years. Instead I'm like "yeah go get drunk, get laid, do your thing". Weird and certainly not the most "girly" advice.
A male friend recently texted me to tell me (and I will quote him) "I'm not a father :)"
I feel like a normal woman's response would be, "Well that's great news. You weren't financially or emotionally ready for the responsibilities that go along with having a child. How is the girl handling things? Was she worried/freaking out? Is she okay?". My response was "YAHHHHTTTZZZZEEEEE!". (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jfoVINW1HMk)
As if I have no regards for females at all, when I am in fact a female. So what is wrong with me?
I have also discovered over my 21 years that I would much rather consume some good beer and wings than go anywhere "romantic" and have an actual dinner. Although I thoroughly enjoyed my first date with my ex which was more "romantic", I found that what I enjoyed even more were when we would go out and just drink beer and get burgers. Yeah, I guess I am a cheap date.
Also, I don't know anything about wine. I mean I know that it can get me drunk and that I like.. YAHTZEE! But other than that I find myself offended when a host/hostess at a gathering offers all the men a beer and then says "Kelcie, Would you like a glass of wine?". "Sure, fantastic. Thank you." is always my response, when in reality I am thinking "WHAT THE F$%&, GET ME A MOTHERF$#%IN BEER FOR GOD SAKES!!!!" WAHHHHHH :(
Another thing. Recently my friends and I went to Cheeburger Cheeburger. And our waiter comes over.. seems like a nice guy. He describes all the burgers then gives an in-depth description of the salads. HELLLOOOOO I AM AT FUCKING CHEEBURGER.. it has BURGER in the title. Does it look like I want a fucking salad? Um HELLOOO? "I will take this quarter pound burger with sauteed onions cheese cheese cheese bacon tomatoes lettuce.. No that is not all, don't move on to the next person!.. and I would like one of those big baskets of onion rings, yeah one of those. And, maybe hmm what kind of milkshakes do you have? Oh over 7,000 combinations of milkshakes!? Damn well I will certainly be getting one of those." I am sorry I know it was probably just his job to introduce the entire menu, but I saw a bunch of tall, football looking guys at a table across the restaurant. Do you think the waiter really told them all about the different combinations of salads you could get? Absolutely not! So, why me?
Another reason why I consider myself to be a "guy" is that I enjoy watching movies and television that involve a lot of blood, violence, cursing, and/or sex. Okay I admit I occasionally watch Gossip Girl. (It's my guilty pleasure..but shhh! don't tell anyone.) My favorite shows are Criminal Minds, CSI, and Law and Order. Blood.Blood.Blood. If someone tells me I can pick a movie it is always going to be an action movie or a movie with a lot of sex. I am sorry, I'm honest. (And anything with Matt Damon that involves action/sex is even better.. okay I guess that makes me kind of girly.. but not the fact that I have watched the Bourne series probably like 20 times over... Gets me every time. Ah Jason Bourne.)
So my point is that I am a man's man.. or a man's girl.. or a girl that is like a man.. something of that nature. I don't know that I will ever be girly, but I am recently discovering that I don't have to be. This is the way I am and you know what I am okay with that.
That's the way the cookie crumbles my friends.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
My freshman year of college
My freshman year of college I was awkward.. Wait, Who am I kidding? I am still awkward.
Freshman year I met one of my very good friends Leila who I am still super close with today. Her and I had a brilliant idea a couple of weeks into school. We thought these two men on our freshman floor were really nice and figured we would ask them out on a date. Hey, it would be a great way to get to know them, we thought. So we wrote a letter(yes a letter like in the old days) to Clim and Jay. We told them how we would love to go out on a date with them! We also taped hershey kisses on their door in the shape of a "C" and a "J". We slipped the note under the door.. so excited for our date. We even planned out that it would be that Friday and we would go to Cafe Gelato because that was the nicest restaurant we knew that was in walking distance.
When they hadn't responded to our lovely handwritten note we figured they were probably just shy. So I knocked on Clim and Jay's door and Clim opened it to see me standing their smile and wavinggg my arms around and he shoved the door in my face. Hence.. the rejection....
Legitimately that is what it looked like. My friend Leila came in to my room to make sure I was okay and couldn't even look at me. It was sad. And, even worse, the weekend after I had to go out with my glasses because I still couldn't wear my contacts.. Nerd? I think so.
And that's the way the cookie crumbles...
Freshman year I met one of my very good friends Leila who I am still super close with today. Her and I had a brilliant idea a couple of weeks into school. We thought these two men on our freshman floor were really nice and figured we would ask them out on a date. Hey, it would be a great way to get to know them, we thought. So we wrote a letter(yes a letter like in the old days) to Clim and Jay. We told them how we would love to go out on a date with them! We also taped hershey kisses on their door in the shape of a "C" and a "J". We slipped the note under the door.. so excited for our date. We even planned out that it would be that Friday and we would go to Cafe Gelato because that was the nicest restaurant we knew that was in walking distance.
When they hadn't responded to our lovely handwritten note we figured they were probably just shy. So I knocked on Clim and Jay's door and Clim opened it to see me standing their smile and wavinggg my arms around and he shoved the door in my face. Hence.. the rejection....
That above is the rejection.. it sucked and hurt!
I have never quite gotten over that....So if you want to go out on a date now im A-V-A-I-L-A-B-L-E. ha.
Moving on to my second awkward experience freshman year.. My eyeball swelling up like a golf ball... yikes!! One morning I woke up and literally my eye was bright red and the size of a golfball like so..
And that's the way the cookie crumbles...
My top picks for men I would like to spend an evening with...because I know you care :)
In an attempt to increase the amount of traffic in my blog I have decided to do a piece on the top 5-10 men (celebrities) I would like to ahem spend an evening with...keeping it g rated (in case the pops happens to see this.)
1. Mike Posner- Because I would thoroughly enjoy it if someone threw on 'bow chicka wow wow' to get me in the mood and hey if he could sing it to me.. even better. Then in the morning he could sing "baby please don't go" ahhh how dreamy <3 And he's smart. Went to Duke <3
2. Hugh Hefner. Because WHY NOT?? He's slept with probably half the female population and when I say population I mean the entire world's population.. not just the United States... so he must be doin something right :) Look at that picture. Even though I am jealous that he's with another girl. But hes like yeah thats right I am hott I know it...Confidence.. Sexy.
3. Matt Damon. Need I say more? Okay I will. He's sexy as hell and seems like he is just a nice man. JASON BOURNE.. OMG cutest picture ever....
4. 50 cent. Ever since I first saw him in the "In Da Club" video I have been in love. Something about him doing those crunches while hanging upside down. And, I did see his movie. Wasn't a huge fan but it was bearable since he was obviously the main character. Take a look at that picture.... Come on.. Sexy...
5. Biebs. Is he still a virgin? Wait? Is he even legal? Maybe I should take that one back...
1. Mike Posner- Because I would thoroughly enjoy it if someone threw on 'bow chicka wow wow' to get me in the mood and hey if he could sing it to me.. even better. Then in the morning he could sing "baby please don't go" ahhh how dreamy <3 And he's smart. Went to Duke <3
3. Matt Damon. Need I say more? Okay I will. He's sexy as hell and seems like he is just a nice man. JASON BOURNE.. OMG cutest picture ever....
4. 50 cent. Ever since I first saw him in the "In Da Club" video I have been in love. Something about him doing those crunches while hanging upside down. And, I did see his movie. Wasn't a huge fan but it was bearable since he was obviously the main character. Take a look at that picture.... Come on.. Sexy...
hmmmmm yupp pretty sure hes like 14.. um anywayyy nevermind.. maybe in a few... aka 10 years.
6. Travis Barker. Tattoos. Tattoos. Tattoos. Enough Said. Just take a look below.... DAMMMNNN.
7. Mark Teixeira.. And hopefully I am spelling my future husbands last name correctly. But he is just soooo cute :)
8. Chelsea Handler. Okay I know she is not a guy but I want her life. And although I would not like to spend an evening with her in that way I would like to chill with her so she's on my list :)
And that's the way the cookie crumbles..
Dear Writers/Publishers/Editors of the Magazine Cosmopolitan
Dear Writers/Publishers/Editors and Anyone else involved in the creation of the magazine, Cosmopolitan,
1. I'd like to start by saying I love you, and that I am a loyal reader.
2. Your magazine never ceases to amuse me.
3. Where do you come up with half this crap???
Like I said I am always the first to purchase and read the monthly magazine, but I am starting to find that it is getting rather monotonous. Each magazine involves:
1. A certain number (5, 51, 79, 87.. the number is irrelevant) new ways to seduce your man.
Okay, I'll give it to you. Some of your ways of seducing a man are actually legitimate, but others are just plain fucked up. I have to say that April's section was interesting because it not only involved ways to seduce a man, but it told you how to seduce your man in less than a minute...damn.
This is a great one. "Wake him up in the morning by sucking on his finger as if its his penis" I am sorry. Would this actually turn a guy on? I am pretty sure that if a guy woke up to me sucking on his finger he'd be like what the F$#% get out of my bed and my life.
Oh wait.. even better.."Stare longingly at his package for a few seconds". Hello man I think you're attractive. Don't mind me I am just going to stare at your junk for a short duration of time. No, its not weird. Cosmo told me to do it!! Aren't you totally seduced and not creeped out at all right now??
2. The Health Corner which involves two of the most self explanatory things ever: Eating Healthy and Exercise.
"Cosmo's 5 great ways to get the swimsuit body you've always wanted"
1. Stop drinking alcohol. Choose water over beer. You won't make that mistake of drunk texting your ex and your body will feel great and thank you.
2. Cut the carbs. Cut them all out. Just veggies girlfriend. Swap that bagel you eat every day for a handful of grapes. Your body will feel refreshed and energized. Wow I was really craving a bagel but yeahh definitely 5 grapes will do the trick.
3. Take the stairs rather than the elevator. Um yeah walking up 10 stairs instead of walking down the hall to the elevator is not really going to make a difference. Sure maybe if your office is on the 31st floor it would make a difference but really give me a break.
4. Have lots of sex. Sex is the best way to work out and this is all our magazine refers to. If you have trouble finding a mate don't worry turn to page 54 and we'll tell you how to seduce a man
5. EXERCISE. Run 15 miles a day and do 1000 crunches and you'll have the body you always wanted.
Gee thanks Cosmo. You really cleared that one up for me.
Also, the health corner always has a section on your vagina and how everything operates down there and most of the time will include depictions
3. Hot girl on the cover. Ok I am pretty sure that the majority of your readers are women. Please just have a hott man on the cover for once. please. I get it ok. Olivia Wilde is gorgeous but put her on the cover of MAXIM.. cant we get David Beckham with his shirt off please? If I am reading this magazine and am actually reading your 59 ways of seducing a man I am obviously feelin a little lonely.
4. However I have to say one of my favorite things about cosmo is the section on sex that includes a tear out page that you can give to your man so that he knows how to please you in bed. Do it. I'm sure he won't be offended at all by the fact that you're giving him a ripped out page of a magazine because he has no idea how to get you off. Ha.
Thats all for now (and thats the way the cookie crumbles)
Kelcie
1. I'd like to start by saying I love you, and that I am a loyal reader.
2. Your magazine never ceases to amuse me.
3. Where do you come up with half this crap???
Like I said I am always the first to purchase and read the monthly magazine, but I am starting to find that it is getting rather monotonous. Each magazine involves:
1. A certain number (5, 51, 79, 87.. the number is irrelevant) new ways to seduce your man.
Okay, I'll give it to you. Some of your ways of seducing a man are actually legitimate, but others are just plain fucked up. I have to say that April's section was interesting because it not only involved ways to seduce a man, but it told you how to seduce your man in less than a minute...damn.
This is a great one. "Wake him up in the morning by sucking on his finger as if its his penis" I am sorry. Would this actually turn a guy on? I am pretty sure that if a guy woke up to me sucking on his finger he'd be like what the F$#% get out of my bed and my life.
Oh wait.. even better.."Stare longingly at his package for a few seconds". Hello man I think you're attractive. Don't mind me I am just going to stare at your junk for a short duration of time. No, its not weird. Cosmo told me to do it!! Aren't you totally seduced and not creeped out at all right now??
2. The Health Corner which involves two of the most self explanatory things ever: Eating Healthy and Exercise.
"Cosmo's 5 great ways to get the swimsuit body you've always wanted"
1. Stop drinking alcohol. Choose water over beer. You won't make that mistake of drunk texting your ex and your body will feel great and thank you.
2. Cut the carbs. Cut them all out. Just veggies girlfriend. Swap that bagel you eat every day for a handful of grapes. Your body will feel refreshed and energized. Wow I was really craving a bagel but yeahh definitely 5 grapes will do the trick.
3. Take the stairs rather than the elevator. Um yeah walking up 10 stairs instead of walking down the hall to the elevator is not really going to make a difference. Sure maybe if your office is on the 31st floor it would make a difference but really give me a break.
4. Have lots of sex. Sex is the best way to work out and this is all our magazine refers to. If you have trouble finding a mate don't worry turn to page 54 and we'll tell you how to seduce a man
5. EXERCISE. Run 15 miles a day and do 1000 crunches and you'll have the body you always wanted.
Gee thanks Cosmo. You really cleared that one up for me.
Also, the health corner always has a section on your vagina and how everything operates down there and most of the time will include depictions
3. Hot girl on the cover. Ok I am pretty sure that the majority of your readers are women. Please just have a hott man on the cover for once. please. I get it ok. Olivia Wilde is gorgeous but put her on the cover of MAXIM.. cant we get David Beckham with his shirt off please? If I am reading this magazine and am actually reading your 59 ways of seducing a man I am obviously feelin a little lonely.
4. However I have to say one of my favorite things about cosmo is the section on sex that includes a tear out page that you can give to your man so that he knows how to please you in bed. Do it. I'm sure he won't be offended at all by the fact that you're giving him a ripped out page of a magazine because he has no idea how to get you off. Ha.
Thats all for now (and thats the way the cookie crumbles)
Kelcie
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Please, Just Tell Me I Suck! :)
I am not a big fan of half assing anything. If I want to do something I am going to do it. If I want you I am going to get you. Not in a creepy way as it sounds, just in a proactive way. (And, that's the way the cookie crumbles. HA.) I am a go getter in life and in my relationships and those who know me can certainly attest to that.. in fact, I sometimes go overboard and I'll be the first too admit it. (You should read my second blog (how to pick up the man of your dreams) to see just what I mean.)
I recently pursued this one guy. Did he turn me down? No. But he was kind of HALF ASSIN' the situation until finally he stopped talking to me. See below for depiction:
Why can't people be honest if they're not into something? Why should you men waste your own time trying to figure out how you are going to ditch this CrAzY BiTcH? Here's a thought: Just tell us you're NOT interested! WE DO NOT CARE. If someone told me they were not interested in me I think I would give him a HUG because quite frankly why should anyone waste their time???
HAHAHA a big bear hug for you... for telling me i suck!! But, seriously I would take that.
I think that everyone should always be honest with their feelings no matter how awkward or uncomfortable it is :)
I have come to observe that many people in college treat meeting and hanging out with members of the opposite sex as a game. Like Yahtzee or Life.. which is my favorite game on earth, except when I land on "yay! babygirl!"... FUCK THAT.
From what I understand if you are interested in someone you are to pretend you are not interested so that they become interested and then maybe if you still pretend you are not interested you can both be interested in each other? What? Wait, I confused myself.
This is just my take on things.. and I could certainly be wrong but this is just what I have observed in the past.
I just think it is funny and that is why I chose to blog about it. Not to speak for all women but I think women in general would prefer a straight up:
HAHAHAH Yes or No! so that no one wastes their time.... I like the warning sign above. I feel like its kind of appropriate for me and the way I pursue things.
My point is shit should be simple. And then you'll be HAPPY :)
Say what you're thinking and you'll be happy with the way the cookie crumbles ...
I recently pursued this one guy. Did he turn me down? No. But he was kind of HALF ASSIN' the situation until finally he stopped talking to me. See below for depiction:
Why can't people be honest if they're not into something? Why should you men waste your own time trying to figure out how you are going to ditch this CrAzY BiTcH? Here's a thought: Just tell us you're NOT interested! WE DO NOT CARE. If someone told me they were not interested in me I think I would give him a HUG because quite frankly why should anyone waste their time???
HAHAHA a big bear hug for you... for telling me i suck!! But, seriously I would take that.
I think that everyone should always be honest with their feelings no matter how awkward or uncomfortable it is :)
I have come to observe that many people in college treat meeting and hanging out with members of the opposite sex as a game. Like Yahtzee or Life.. which is my favorite game on earth, except when I land on "yay! babygirl!"... FUCK THAT.
From what I understand if you are interested in someone you are to pretend you are not interested so that they become interested and then maybe if you still pretend you are not interested you can both be interested in each other? What? Wait, I confused myself.
This is just my take on things.. and I could certainly be wrong but this is just what I have observed in the past.
I just think it is funny and that is why I chose to blog about it. Not to speak for all women but I think women in general would prefer a straight up:
My point is shit should be simple. And then you'll be HAPPY :)
Say what you're thinking and you'll be happy with the way the cookie crumbles ...
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